Let's Go - 1:1 Coaching

Expecting Kids to Obey is Controversial

cooperation heart-based approach to parenting Aug 07, 2023

Hey there,


Is it wrong to expect my kid to obey?


You might be surprised how controversial it is nowadays to say that we should expect children to obey parents (even within the believing Christian community). That's why I asked Dr. Scott Turansky to define obedience according to a heart-based approach and explain how helpful teaching kids to obey is to heart development. Check out this week's quick video right here:





Now some of you reading this email are asking yourself, "What's so controversial about expecting kids to obey?". You may even be tempted to shake your head at the fallen world and say things like, "That's why the world's so messed up nowadays!" But I want to caution you to hold off on that comment, watch this video, and know that many of those parents you're frustrated about are actually decent people trying to do the right thing. Many (especially those who are also fellow followers of Jesus) have some good reasons behind their parenting decisions that we can affirm. They may just need to adjust a little (like all of us parents do from time to time).


Others of you reading this email may be saying, "I am one of those parents who doesn't want my child to just blindly obey me. I want my child to ...". You likely have some good motives and reasons behind your thinking, and one thing I know you value is building relationship with your children. Before you just say, "Well, this video isn't for me." and delete this email, I want to challenge you to click through and listen to what Dr. Turansky says. You'll hear a lot of what you like and may be challenged to stretch your faith and your parenting a little bit more.


What I hope everyone recognizes from a video like this is that God doesn't expect us to blindly obey Him out of fear or habit. He instead desires an authentic relationship with us, and it is within the context of that relationship that we willingly obey Him ... even when it is tough. If the Creator of the universe can be that gentle, kind, and patient with me and places such a high priority on relationship, maybe this should be my model for obedience when it comes to parenting my own kids as well.


Go ahead and check out this week's video. You'll be so glad you did.


All my best,



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