Perfection is not the goal.
Heart change is.
You scroll through your feed online and see your friend’s kids playing so well together in all of their pictures with smiles so broad you could almost hear the laughter and joy. Another friend has a picture of her family sitting down together enjoying the latest dinner recipe she tried, and of course, it looks amazing. She even coordinated the centerpiece and candles with the meal. Oh, and did you also notice the kitchen in the background and how it looks like someone from HGTV stopped by to make it just perfect?
Then some yelling brings you back to your reality. You look up from your phone.
The yelling is coming from the playroom. Your kids are fighting about that same toy again despite you telling them way, way, way too many times to stop. You tried showing them how to share it, but that didn’t seem to work.
Now you realize it’s getting later and that you have no inspiration for what to make for dinner because you know no matter what you make, your kids are just going to complain and fuss like usual. Do they even make coordinating centerpieces and candles for chicken nuggets and mac n’ cheese?
Oh, and don’t look now but there’s another mess in the kitchen that needs to get picked up before you can even start prepping this meal. Your kids made that mess hours ago. You told them to clean it up at least three times since then, and you know it won’t get cleaned up until you get angry and possibly start screaming, and even then your kids will do the bare minimum.
I’m B.J. Meurer. I’ve worked with children for over two decades as an educator. During these years, I’ve always been drawn to working with children who find learning difficult. I love helping kids discover the joy of learning and empowering them with the tools they need to continue growing and learning for themselves.
But over the years, my heart has broken as I’ve seen behind these kids are real families with real needs for learning as well. Families who were struggling with how to get kids to follow directions, treat others kindly, and act responsibly.
Many years earlier, when my wife and I began raising our first child, we found the National Center for Biblical Parenting. We put their heart-based tools and strategies into practice with our own family, and we even used their coaching services at times. We saw and experienced for ourselves how Jesus could bring about transformation in family life when parents used a heart-based approach.
I taught some parenting classes at my church and helped out in the Children’s Ministry using many of the heart-based tools my wife and I had learned and used with our kids. Families who took these tools and put them into practice in their families saw transformation.
After years of watching too many families struggle, I decided I needed to shift my focus and become a certified Biblical Parenting Coach and Presenter through the National Center for Biblical Parenting.
"Working with B.J. has helped us to create a home environment of peace and delight, something that we have dreamed of."
- Ryan and Val, Biblical parenting coaching clients
As a Biblical Parenting Coach, I began working with families and found I was truly focusing on what children and families needed most: tools and strategies to bring about heart change.
Over the course of 8 weeks, I meet weekly with parents, help them through our online training materials, and provide individualized feedback about how the tools they are learning about can be used to address specific problems their children are facing right now.
We discuss real problems they are facing, and together we brainstorm practical, heart-based solutions they can use with their kids that same day.
I remember working with one young family facing some of the very same challenges you are probably facing in your family. They loved Jesus and really wanted to do this parenting thing well but just felt like they needed some guidance and support. When they came to me, Mom said, “We have some decent ideas on parenting but a lot it just feels like we’re making it up as we go.
We have no idea if any of it will work in the long run.”
So we got to work with my coaching program. They started out strong and did an awesome job meeting with me weekly and trying the tools and strategies we were discussing. But since this was all new, it still felt a little unnatural.
Then one week it all clicked.
Dad was watching his son and daughter in the backyard when his son started to treat his sister poorly. Out of nowhere, Dad found himself offering a quick word of advice to his son that addressed his son’s heart and turned the behavior around before it escalated. On the phone that night Dad said to me, “I had no idea where what I said came from. Then I realized it was something you taught us, but now it just naturally fit me. So I went with it, and it worked!”
Day by day, little by little, this Mom and Dad watched God move in their family and bring transformation as they implemented a heart-based approach to parenting.
It worked for them, and it can work for you, too.
If you stopped by our home, you’d see a lot of action. My wife and I have eight kids of our own. Our home is filled with homeschool supplies and lots and lots of books. The zipline and trampoline in the backyard get plenty of daily use. Our favorite times here are when we are all curled up together by the wood-burning stove playing a board game or watching a movie, especially when it also involves having other family and friends over as well.
But News Flash: I’m not the perfect parent and we’re not the perfect family. Just ask my kids. They all have at least one Dad story of where I’ve blown it. Where I’ve let my frustration get the better of me. Where I’ve focused more on their behavior and less on their hearts.
But they also have Dad stories of where I’ve kept on trying. Where I’ve prayerfully approached a parenting situation and asked Jesus for help. Where I’ve used the same heart-based approach parenting principles I teach others to use, and where we have seen breakthroughs in behavior, changes in hearts, and transformations in our family life.
No, we don’t have perfect kids. No, we don’t have perfect meals, and no, we certainly don’t have the perfect home.
But then again, perfection is not the goal - heart change is.
It worked for us , and it can work for you, too.
In our home, we have a small wooden sign I made several years ago. It simply reads “Jesus Never Fails.” The truth is, when we ask Jesus to help us with our parenting and focus on the heart like He does, we see transformation happen in our kids and families.
It’s time for you to take the next step and get the tools and strategies you need to help you with your parenting.
I'm interested in coaching!
Biblical Parenting Coaching Program
By the end of this 8 week 1:1 experience, you will ...
Gain clarity on what a heart-based approach to parenting is and how to use it in day-to-day family life
Develop understanding of the 7 specific heart tools God uses to mold our hearts and how to use them to mold your child's heart
Develop a plan for increasing cooperation and obedience in your family
Know how to respond when your child disobeys using a heart-based approach
Build positive momentum in family relationships and family life in general
Increase confidence in your own parenting skills and abilities
See positive change at a heart level with your child
Dr. Scott Turansky, Co-founder of the National Center for Biblical Parenting
"B.J.’s insight into the heart of a child is remarkable. His ability to advise parents demonstrates his command of God’s Word and discernment in a way that empowers parents to bring about change in their children in a short amount of time."
Here’s what you’re getting when you enroll:
- Free 45 minute initial consultation call ($100 value)
- 8 weeks of 1:1: Biblical parenting coaching sessions via phone or Zoom ($525 value)
- Discounted lifetime access to the online Biblical Parenting University course that goes with the program ($200 value)
- Regular email support during the 8 weeks
- Access to additional tools and printable resources
- Plus a BONUS 50% Discount for future Biblical Parenting University course purchases from the National Center for Biblical Parenting (up to $250 value)
Give Jesus 8 weeks, and you will see transformation in your kids and family life.
Biblical Parenting Coaching Program
Includes $50 online course from Biblical Parenting UniversityLet's Get Started
Patterns develop in the way we interact with our kids - some are healthy and some are negative. Often we accept these patterns as the norm even when we don't like them.