What happens when you're not there?

Hey there,

There’s a question every parent eventually has to wrestle with:

What happens when you're not there?

When our kids are little, we're constantly telling them what to do. We remind them. We correct them. We help them figure out what’s right and what’s wrong.

But eventually, we won't be there.

They'll have to make decisions when we're not standing beside them. They'll have to decide whether to tell the truth, take responsibility, make things right, care about someone else, or do what they know is right.

That's where the conscience comes in.

A healthy conscience isn't just knowing right from wrong. It's an internal guide that helps us recognize what needs to happen and respond appropriately.

And here's something I think we sometimes miss: we don't develop the conscience in a 4-year-old the same way we develop it in a 14-year-old.

With a young child, we may need to help them recognize what happened and put words to that inner prompting.

As they get older, we can start asking questions like, “What do you think needs to happen?” or “How could you make this right?”

Eventually, we're helping them learn to exercise their conscience without us being their external conscience.

That's what I talk about in my newest video, Stop Being Your Child's Conscience.

I also talk about how relationship, emotional regulation, and even the way we teach cooperation can play a role in this process.

Because we're not just trying to raise kids who do the right thing when we're watching.

We're trying to help them become people who can recognize and choose what is right even when we're not there.

So go ahead and check this video out.

All my best,

B.J.